It is now ten days after the cease-fire went into effect. I have begun to realize just how therapeutic writing was during the time the war was going on, and so I am writing again. Take it or leave it. There is so much commentary on the Internet and in the news that I can’t read it all, don’t want to read it all, and don’t plan on adding to it here. Enough has been said and will be said about our leaders and generals, the terrible mistakes, the neglect of the residents of the Galilee, and the next round that I have nothing to add. When the shooting stopped and I no longer had to deal with the everyday effort of just getting through each day, the adrenaline and energy that kept me going suddenly gave way, and I found myself depressed, extremely tired, and very anxious about the future. The day after the cease fire I went to Nahariya for the first time - hoping to get in a visit to the beach, some shopping, maybe a coffee, and relax a bit. It was premature. I was so heartbroken at the boarded-up, burned and bombed-out shops, debris and glass all over the sidewalks in the center of our town, the empty closed beach, my deserted coffee shop (it was hit in the first barrage on July 13th) that I retreated home shaken and despondent. There is a whole new set of mannerisms here. People no longer greet each other with “What’s new?” or “How’s it going?”. It’s: “Where were you?” (i.e.: Did you evacuate to the center of the country or did you stay up here?) Is your house damaged? Did your settlement get hit? How many times? We talk about nothing else. When you walk down the street everyone is talking about rockets. The world is one big group therapy session where we air out our past experiences and fears to friends, the hairdresser, the green grocer, cab drivers, strangers, anyone. All my biggest personal problems now seem minescule and unimportant. My bank account is in a shambles? A client’s check is lost in the backlog of mail? I’ve got a translation to finish? Income tax says I’ve lost a report that I turned in and they want to fine me 9,000 Shekels? What the hell does it matter? I’ve got 6000 Iranian rockets a few miles away and a fresh supply coming in, so who cares about the bank… I think that we are all suffering from varying degrees of post-traumatic stress. Our minds and bodies are now allowing us to release all the stress, sadness, fear, and anxiety that we suppressed while the fighting was going on. We were then busy with just trying to get through each day, worrying about each other, sitting on the phone and on the email trying to calm friends and family, and just coping with a situation that was so far from normalcy that no one can even grasp it - not even us. We were busy putting up a brave front and using humor (sometimes black humor at its worst!) to keep us going. The whole cope-with-the-rockets-structure that we built for ourselves has suddenly become obsolete and crumbled, leaving an adrenaline-drained vacuum in its wake. I find myself exhibiting all the signs of a person under stress - I jump at every loud noise and at ambulance sirens, I dream of rockets, wake up in the middle of the night, think about our future here and what is awaiting this country in the next round that is sure to come (bets are being placed as to when) and my imagination runs wild - Iran, Syria, the US, our soldiers and civilians caught up in an apocalypse that will leave us so broken and devoid of resources that it will take us years to recuperate (if we do at all). All this while the TV cameras roll and the world watches, keeps score, judges our conduct, and assesses our strength and likelihood to win and survive this one. And now that I’ve written everything down - I feel a bit better. September 1st, 2006 Knowing that September has arrived bring a different feeling in the air - this hot, terrible summer is almost over. Temperatures are beginning to drop - rain is forecast (I hope it comes!) for the Galilee and the north. Soon it will be Rosh HaShanah and a new year will be upon us. It is hard to say if it will be better than this one. Rumors and stories continue to fly about what happened, what could have happened, what should have happened - things that we did not know about before the war started, how well-armed the Hizballah turned out to be - and it gives us all the heebie-jeebies. A plan was revealed in which the Hizballah would cross the border using tunnels leading out to the proximity of several border settlements, capture several, and take hostages. Endless bunkers with sophisticated equipment, hidden rocket launchers, elevators, and communication devices have been found. Yipes! boy, did we underestimate these people! My faith in UNIFIL II is wavering to say the least. Resuming my walks in the surrounding areas of Ben-Ami to the spring of Ein Shefa and the water reservoir reveal dismal sights of burned-out areas and many more rocket strikes. What were fields of shrubbery and underbrush are now piles of gray ash, and there are rocks that are splintered and broken into large flakes, overturned trees, and burst water pipes. Even the cluster of beehives situated along the road seems to have been disturbed - no doubt the bees took flight and abandoned their hives when they were surrounded by smoke from the burning trees (an instinct left over from the days when bees lived in the wild in hollow trees in the forest). When bees sense smoke and fire they load up their pockets on their legs with honey to sustain them in their flight and then fly off with their queen to establish a new hive in a safer place, far from the fire, ensuring their survival. Maybe we have something to learn from them... Damned bees are smarter than us! No one seems to know quite how many rockets fell on Ben Ami - somewhere between thirty and forty, and there may be more in the fields that have not yet been found, or never will be. How to antagonize and freak out the residents of Ben Ami? This week a group of people came to collect blood donations. They advertised their presence by driving around the moshav with a loudspeaker calling for people to come donate blood. Unfortunately the message was unintelligible at first, and - coupled with the sirens from ambulances at the hospital across the road - it sent everyone into a frenzy. I ran outside to see what it was all about and finally made out what was going on. It was much too reminiscent of the alarm system and set off our Pavlov-like instincts. I don’t know how many donations they collected, but they definitely did their best to make themselves very unpopular around here… Irish musicians return to the north! Saturday is the monthly northern session, this time at my house, and we’re going to give this moshav some noise of a different nature. Bring on the music and beer. We deserve it. September 7th After looking at my Geocities control panel, I see that there were close to 1,300 entries to the Tzafon page in the past 30 days! I had no idea that so many people were reading this site. Some days there were more than 80 of you cruising around here! Where have you all come from? I have added a counter to the web page as of yesterday. Friends returning to Nahariya after being abroad all summer say they were surprised to find the city looking so close to normal. I guess at this point it does. Most of the shops are back in business, shattered plate glass windows have been replaced, and only broken pavements in town mark the places where rockets hit. If the efforts on the part of this northern town to repair damages and get things back to normal are indicative of our state of affairs, than we are a resilient people indeed. But underneath I think we are still healing, as another friend of mine puts it. The fear and uncertainty still remain just below the surface in many of us. There is a heavy cloud of anger and resentment of the government and the military leaders hanging over the country. The press and the public still talk constantly of the way that the war was conducted, the lack of support that the government showed for people in the north, and of the “passing the buck” attitude that is going on while the government is busy choosing an investigation committee that will, ironically, evaluate its own actions. Sort of like entrusting the canary to the care of the cat. Where, asks my friend who just returned from abroad, was the civilian guard in Nahariya? If the test of a successful government is its ability to stand by its people and protect them in time of need, this government has failed miserably. Did Olmert or Peretz ever put on a steel helmet and ride up to Kiryat Shmona, Nahariya, Ma’alot, or Karmiel when the Katyushas were falling to meet with people, encourage them, inspect the damage? Where were they? Where was this government that was elected on a platform of social reform when all the poorer people were stuck up north in shelters while those with cars and places to go were able to get away? There was no feeling of leadership, support, or government action. This was a far cry from the Gulf War of 1991 when our military spokesman, Nachman Shai could be heard over the radio in the middle of the night with his the calming voice confidently guiding the entire country through each Iraqi SCUD missile attack. There was no leader here, and as one newspaper article put it - there were no symbols and no heroes either. We need to make some order in this country, and make it fast. We should be busy rebuilding our army and our confidence in its ability to keep us safe, while mobilizing our best military experts - not Intifada policing experts - but officers who know how to make an effective defensive plan for a war of existence (dare I say an offensive plan to prevent one?) instead of wasting energy pointing fingers at who was responsible for the terrible blunders of “the Second Lebanon War” (they still haven’t given it a proper name!). And we need some real leaders, and I don’t see any cropping up who can lead this country in this current crisis. I recently translated a fascinating article written by an academic named Tzvi Heinnman which discussed the role of prestige, status, and resources in international relations. It talked about how nations will sacrifice vast amounts of material and non-material resources to gain prestige. Here is a reference that made a great impression on me: “For reasons of prestige, Henry II, King of France, felt that he had to return the city of Bologne, which had been conquered by the English, to his kingdom. He refused to accept a proposal to purchase it at a reasonable price and insisted upon investing many more resources in a military confrontation which he, by the way, lost. This decision of the king of France can only be understood against the background of his identity as a king in the 16th century and the norms that existed at the time. Purchasing Bologne with money would have led to less prestige than that which he would have earned by re-conquering the city by using armed force. (Of course, the manner of purchase would not have changed the strategic or economic advantages of the city but this was not his main interest). The only way he could preserve his identity as an aristocrat, a king, and as one of the greatest rulers of Europe was by the use of force. I can’t say that the entire incursion was wrong, and that we should have sufficed with attempts at a prisoner exchange with Hizballah, ignoring the initial invasive actions on July 12th. But why did we have to involve ground forces and make a run for the Litani when a cease-fire agreement had already been proposed? Was the government and the army merely staging a pseudo military victory by temporarily conquering territory? The last three days of the war were spent bypassing the Hizballah forces and their rocket launchers that continued to shoot at us until the moment the cease-fire took affect, racing to the Litani to say that we got there and to show our strength, and then pull back again, at the expense of another 1000 rockets on the north and 35 of our soldiers (not to mention the civilian losses on the other side). Maybe things haven’t changed a lot since the 16th century. OK, enough of this. The undoing and repair of the worst scenario is about to take place next week. I get to bring my granddaughter Rotem up here for several days for a visit! All I remember about her last visit was lying on the floor with her in the hallway while Katyushas fell on Ben-Ami, and racing through Haifa to get her safely back to Tel Aviv. We are going to go to the beach, eat junk food and ice cream, go out for walks, and do everything we should have done last time. And this time, as I promised her, there won’t be any loud noises in Ben Ami. I feel confident of that - at least for the time being. Wednesday, September 13th Rotem the rambunctious rascal is here! In many ways I feel like I have closed a circle, which began on Wednesday July 12th. After arriving in Nahariya on the train (it still seems like a luxury to have trains to Nahariya again!) we got into a taxi, and the same driver who took us out of Ben Ami on that horrible day when I ran with Rotem through Haifa to get her home during the war took us to Ben Ami! He remarked on how dangerous it was to have traveled then. I didn’t need to be reminded. I felt like I was in a movie that I had been in before, and that it was running backwards. Though the events in our part of the world are far from over, a normal visit with Rotem completes a loop in the events of our lives together as grandmother and granddaughter. Rotem is still too small to understand what was going on the last time she was here, and when she is a couple of years older, I’ll tell her about it. One of the things that fills me with great sadness is that I have spent the last 35 years of my life in this country, raised two children and have a grandchild here - and we still do not have peace with our neighbors. When she grows up, will Rotem still live in a country that is constantly at war? Will she have to go to the army in 15 years? Each event in this conflict only throws us deeper and deeper into more hatred, displays more terrifying weapons, and pushes us further and further from a chance for peace with out neighbors. David Grossman, the well-known author and political activist whose son, Uri, fell in Lebanon during the last days of the war, stated that “…after 60 years we have still not been accepted into the Middle East, nor have we been absorbed by other nations in the world, and this place is not yet a home, it’s more like a shelter.” And it’s proved to be a very flimsy shelter indeed. I have found what I hope will be a positive outlet for my energy. I have volunteered my services as a translator for the protest movement of the the reserve soldiers who were called up during the war. They are calling for a people’s investigation committee of the events of the war and for the resignation of Olmert, Peretz, and Halutz. Their slogan is "memshala Habayla". (Government, go home!) Becoming politically active seems to me to be the right thing to do at the moment. They have a website in Hebrew only, and I have emphasized the importance for them to provide an English site to reach a larger audience both here and abroad. Rotem has two bottles of water and is parading about the living room with them. I smell trouble… 16 September This is the letter that I wrote to the Irish music list in protest of the "Remember Palestine" evening held by Andy Irvine, Donal Lunny, and some other players. They also called for sanctions against Israel "until it abides by international law." I have not written on this list for some time, but feel that it is necessary to write you all now. I am an Israeli player – I have been involved in the Irish music scene here for the past 15 years, played in various Irish bands here, and run the Hebrew forum for Irish music (previously run by Ayelet Hacohen, who has also bee a member of this list). How can we expect the Irish musicians on this list to refrain from political discussion when some of the best- known players are consistently active in issues that are so very controversial? I have long been an admirer of the musicians who are participating in the “Remember Palestine” concert. They have - as do all of us - the right to their opinions. But it is too bad that Irish music, which has so much international acclaim across borders and cultures - is being used to raise money for such a one-sided perspective of the conflict with our neighbors here in the Middle East. By the same token, I would not expect any of these players to perform at a “Remember Israel” evening. It is too bad that our music and our politics cannot remain separate. Keep in mind that what you read over there is far from neutral coverage of the events here. The Palestinians are downtrodden? Yes. But why is Israel responsible? We gave them weapons to set up a police force. We got sixteen-year-old suicide bombers in return. We gave back the Gaza Strip. We got Kassam missiles on our cities. We pulled out of Lebanon in 2000, leaving the entire border free for the Hizballah to set up a formidable weapons cache and military network that had one purpose – to attack us. And the Hizballah really did not care if Palestinians or Israeli Arabs died in the missile attacks. So if you want to use Irish music to support the Palestinians, be very sure that you might not be getting what you really want, and if you are calling for sanctions against us, than you just might be barking up the wrong tree. I guess what I really find disappointing is that the Irish have had so much suffering themselves, that I would have expected you, among all people, to understand better than anyone that every conflict such as ours is steeped in hatred and mistrust on BOTH sides, and that it takes many years and generations to eliminate such hatred. During my many visits to Ireland I have never judged either side of the conflict in the north. It is not my war, not my country (though I love Ireland dearly) I am not knowledgeable enough to judge. But it seems that you have no trouble judging us, and quickly drawing conclusions from the stilted press coverage that you read. Keep in mind that when you go to the “Remember Palestine” concert, that the funds you raise there will very likely NOT go to unfortunate Palestinian citizens whose corrupt government has a long history of suppressing its people. They could have had a state long ago, if they were not busy trying to eliminate us. And so your funds will go to Hamas – a terrorist regime whom the Palestinian people there elected. And Hamas, Hizballah, El Kaida, and other Moslem fundamentalist groups are the same ones who are endangering your airlines in Europe and the U.S. and who are no less responsible for the failure to make peace in the Middle East then we are. As in Ireland, both sides here have to show a lot more understanding. Many of the players here, including myself, were under fire from Hizballah missiles during the course of the last war (my home is 5 miles south of the border with Lebanon). If you feel that we were “the bad guys” that is your prerogative. Would anyone have stood up for us or bothered to inquire about us if you had even known? Would your love of Irish music, and your solidarity with other players, have overcome your prejudice and your political pursuasions? I doubt it. But please keep in mind that there was a lot of suffering going on here on both sides of the border, and try and imagine what Ireland, or any other country would have done, if a foreign army – and I don’t mean terrorists – I mean an army, because that’s what Hizballah is - would have crossed your border, killed eight soldiers, abducted another two, and then launched even ONE missile attack on one of your cities. Then if you still feel that we are wrong, maybe we can talk. Bracha Ben-Avraham Western Galilee, Israel I feel very sad, very betrayed, and wonder what it will be like to visit Ireland again and expose myself as an Israeli. I have known that many Irish people are sympathetic towards the Palestinians, viewing them as a people who have a lot in common with them. Strange that they no longer feel that way about the Jewish people. But considering the press coverage in Europe, it's not so strange at all. 19 September, 2006 Last night I got an expected phone call from Pat in Ireland, who thinks I’ve lost it. Maybe he’s right. I’m not sorry about anything that I wrote in my posting to the list, though Pat felt it was wrong of me to have implied that people formed their opinions as a result of reading biased news coverage, claiming that OUR coverage here is also biased. But I still think that Israel gets special treatment when it comes to being judged for our actions, and that we are expected to behave differently than anyone else.. The worse letter by far that was written in response was one from a Jewish man in Ireland, claiming that he was “no less Jewish than Bracha Ben- Avraham”, that he is horrified by Israel’s foreign policy, and that he totally disagreed with my “Zionist rant”. Obviously “Zionist” in this case implies a derogatory term used by people who have similar persuasions to that of President Ahmadinejad, as in “The Zionist Entity” instead of “Israel” to avoid any mention of the name “Israel”, which they do not recognize. The use of it in that context by a Jewish person is particularly revolting. Well, Shana Tova everyone! Hope we have a better year than last. That’s not saying much. Won’t be hard to beat that Worst year I’ve had in a long time. Maybe ever. So it had better be a lot better than last year…This year’s greeting card features Tzfoni and Tzfonit, whom I am having great trouble parting with, so I’ve decided to keep them around. 27 September The new year was ushered in last weekend with apples and honey, lots of wine and good food, and a steady flow of company that lasted until Sunday afternoon. My happiest moment was buying Rotem a shiny new red bicycle – toddler sized, with training wheels. She is now getting on an off it, but has not mastered the art of making it go. This perhaps will be accomplished over Yom Kippur when she is in Ben-Ami again. Walking through the fields yesterday afternoon I saw gray clouds moving over and felt a few drops of rain. I am so very eager for this long, hot, dreadful summer to be over and to leave it behind. The change in the weather and the approach of the short Israeli autumn always seems to usher in a different world of winter. I hope that when it will be rainy and cold and it will get dark early that the memories of the summer will fade into the past. I long to get away to Ireland, but I have fears of a visit becoming one long political argument with people. So much for my dreams of teaming up with Andy Irvine. On principle I will not hide the fact that I am from Israel if I am asked. But the climate doesn't seem to be very friendly. Now 61 academics from Ireland are calling on the European Community to place a moratorium on support for Israeli institutions of higher learning, claiming that our government is "impervious to appeals from world leaders and to long-standing United Nations resolutions." Why is it that every citizen in the street gets blamed for the mishaps of the government? I'm sure not every Palestinian in the street in Gaza is in favor of the Hamas attasking the south with homemade Kassam rockets. It appears that the Hizballah is delivering rockets from the north to be used by the Hamas in the south. Today a 14-year old girl was killed in an air raid on a building in Gaza that supposedly had a tunnel underneath it for smuggling weapons to the Hamas. What were children doing in a building that had a tunnel for smuggling weapons anyway? Or, more likely, what was that tunnel doing in their home? I don't feel like the war is over. It's just going on somewhere else. Or been downgraded to occasional rocket attacks. |
- August-September, 2006
